Nobal Glomad

It’s rare in our couch-convenienced world of Imax and 3D TV, Wikipedia’d everything, Playstation vs. Nintendo (yawn), iPhones egg boiling apps and infinite cable TV schlock that we are remotely intrigued by anything Mother Nature throws our way. Today though I was officially no-240volts-required blown away by the perfect Alps vista.

After a quad destroying 953m ascent in just 1.5hrs from the town of Wengen at 1,274m to the peak of Männlichen at 2,227m (cue self-pat on the back… I still got it at 38), there before me stood the mammoth Jungfrau a.k.a. ‘The Top of Europe’. Any kilos gained from excessive Fondue, Raclette, Rosti or Nidle-Kuchen (Swiss custard tart surprise) indulgence had been burned to reveal my rippling one-pack. At 4,158m she may not be the tallest beauty in the mountain world when compared to Nepal’s monolithic ice-aged towers, but this is a jaw-dropped beyond belief 360° spectacle.

The Cinderella snow-capped peaks surrounded me. The Bernese Alps valley plunged away to Europe’s snow-bunny central Interlaken and leisure sailing on nearby Lake Brienz. For an Australian it’s odd to find beautiful vessels purchased for such a small amount of sea-aspiring water. The lake though is pure magic, the setting beyond beautiful. I’d be quite the happy tag along if invited onboard a close acquaintance’s 80 footer for a polite Sunday soiree, sipping French and soaking up the soft Euro rays.

The valleys reveal a complex network of criss-crossed train lines, ascending ski-lift cables, trekking paths, roads, bike paths, cattle ways and chalets. All this resembles a child-like diorama… ridiculously small against the towering peaks above. Switzerland has by far the world’s most advanced transport infrastructure options for tourists and locals to get from A to B. In what would normally be classed as remote and inaccessible territory the Swiss simply build a new 17km tunnel or tap in a vertical train track to get you to the peak.

After a 6 hour round trip I was back in charming Wengen, a small town perched midway up the mountain with pristine point and shoot options at every step. Yes it is a tourist town and yes it’s postcard perfect. You’ll want to book a Chalet/palace but don’t expect affordability. The ‘caught in a time warp’ hotels offer cosy comfort, a room with views coming in at around 250Francs. And… for that expenditure you’ll be carrying your own bags.

A post-hike fondue in a local (forgettable) restaurant delivers the required tummy luggage… the best option from a ‘caught in a time-warp’ menu. Swiss gastronomic experience appears to be all about the comfort factor, and loads of it. Lightly steamed greens, garden salads with anything more than lettuce, and low-fat anything are never to be seen dining options.

So get out there and hike it. Treat yourself to the most bootylicious boots you can find (I’ll put in a non-sponsored plug for French label Marmot) and challenge yourself to a day in the life of Sir Edmund Hillary. Failing that if you’re not at all hike-worthy, a heels-only Glomad, the Swiss will be certain to ship you to the top in style.