Nobal Glomad

Deep fried Mars Bars, Russian Delis, RSLs, 5 Synagogues, sardine packed backpacker joints, Michelin hatted dining, yoga schools, multi-million one bedder boudoirs, camper vans, markets, sushi, chai, buffed n’ bronzed lifesavers, great whites, the Diggers and overpriced muumuus. Bondi (Wikipedia definition: Aboriginal for water breaking over rocks… nice) is one big car crash of cultural diversity.

Bondi’s backbone has been built by its post World War II European working class immigrants. Today the mix includes the stupidly rich, dollar a day nomads, skaters, fitness freaks, surfers and locals walking the pedigree hound. They all can be spotted sharing the scenic stroll along the beach’s infamous promenade.

An English friend recently pointed out the true oddity of this schizophrenic beach locale. Bondi sits 1,000′s of kilometres from anywhere notable on the international opinion setting circuit, like New York, London or Paris for example. The paradox is the inhabitants consider themselves the centre of ‘happening’, anything that really matters is right here… and quite frankly, the rest of the world just needs to keep up. From Fashion to food, nightlife to street life – as far as Bondi’s concerned this is where it’s at.

Throw all this ‘I rock self-obsession’ syndrome aside, and you’ll discover Bondi’s a true beauty. It’s not high on my must move there list but I’m inevitably there every other weekend. It’s superbly social. The vista takes your breath away and works its charm every time you sweep around the corner on Bondi Road down onto Campbell Parade… a right jaw dropper.

I hope you enjoy my sunrise to sunset guide to experiencing a slice of Bondi Beach life. You can pick and choose what and what not to do. Pack the sunscreen, towel, designer shades, a non-maxed out credit card and a smart shirt or frock for the pm hours… dive in.

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Sunrise

Do it. Just one morning of your life get out of bed at a stupidly early hour (check here for timings). The sunrise from North Bondi on a good morning is unforgettable and beats sunset at Café del Mar or Ku De Ta hands down. The view is best from Icebergs as the sun streaks across the silvery windows and pool waters below, alternatively climb to Hunter Park further around the point for the high view.

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Yoga & Paddle

It’s the world’s biggest yoga room. Yoga by the Sea have stretch out morning and evening classes for Yin (slower) and Yang (sweaty) yoga. Check Gumtree for the once off annual mass beach yoga gathering – a dance party for downward doggers. Post savasana, dodge the surfboards and jump in for that unbeatable rush of diving into the morning ocean foam.

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Brekkie or Brunch

Newly spaced-up Earth Food Store ‘Organics’ Cafe serves up simple no fuss goodness. Forget truffle oil or fois gras infusions. It’s creamy Bonsoi chai with honey (a crowd pleasing not crap powder based coffee alternative), eggs with avocado, seed-filled loaves and real butter served up by the same crew every day.

There’s also some decent off the main drag easy priced options. Older school Brown Sugar does Friday to Sunday classics with signature (and damn tasty) scrambled green eggs with roasted tomatoes. They also serve dinner which I’d call beach bistro style… think decent sized platefuls of classic modern australian, some Ikea tea-lights and plenty of stroll-by enviers.

Jeds at Seven Ways is another localised Sydney café stayer. Music and eaters spill out across the lawn with lazy dogs and kids all about. There’s  hints of Mexico and the Bahamas in the kitchen with a aromas of chilli, coconut and chorizo, eggs, pancakes and caramelised ‘nanas. The weekend post 10am is triple busy so aim for sharp 9.50am arrival.

You’ll notice no coffee reviews. I’m a nut-bag foodie but the taste of coffee I compare to licking a Kings Cross sidewalk… best I save my words. For sure the brew’s damn good at all the above establishments. This is Sydney prime pit stop territory.

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The Arvo

In your post-eat happy placed state there’s plenty of arvo options. The obvious is a sun-baked calorie burning Bondi to Bronte walk. Take your towel and plunge along the way dodging the super fits and happy snappers.

There’s not really anything amazing or memorable in the local architectural department except perhaps the Bondi Pavilion. Completed in 1928 it originally featured Turkish baths, a gymnasium and ballroom. During the war it served as a base for the Red Cross but by the 60′s and early 70′s it fell into an embarrassing state of disrepair. Since re-opening in 1975 it has continued to serve as an arts and cultural centre with festivals and events throughout the year… ah the memories of Good Vibrations in the late 90s.

There’s a few backstreet stores about… personally I’d save the shopping for the weekend in Melbourne or back towards town. You could perhaps grab a cheeky bit of body art at Bondi Ink Tattoo.

On a Sunday head to Bondi Beach Markets for a mindless stroll. Check out the soon to open Saturday Morning Farmers’ Market this March… finally!

Or forget all this walking and have some magic hands massage time at Bondi Massage. After pop into Gertrude & Alice for a bookish few hours, a cuppa and cake filled moment of beach decadence.

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Sunset + Dinner

Get in amongst the post sun soakers. Squeeze in with the bleached blonde trash-oire of North Bondi Italian for perhaps a Prosecco and spinach arancini ball. The crowd is barely bearable but it’s worth the sit out for a nothing beats it sunset. If you’re seat stuck then stay for dinner. The rigatoni with pork sausages, sage and tomato is the perfect post-spritz soaker. The other option is to slip upstairs to the North Bondi RSL for tap beer n’ burgers… equally good view and 1/2 the price.

Fancy authentic thin crust? Stroll the promenade to Pompei’s pizzeria for a cheaper less overpriced Italian option. It’s tiny, noisy and not a good date option but the pizza’s honest and Bresaola e Rucola is pure cured meat pleasure.

For an unforgettable splurge book a just inside window table at Sean’s Panoroma. Sean’s is one of, if not the most memorable Sydney dining experience out there. It has the finest ingredients, the most experienced kitchen, amazing service (with knowledge), great wine, plates of food love, plenty of view and no need to instruction the latest thing. My only quibble? The desserts have never particularly floated my boat. But it’s a stayer and damn it you must go.

Icebergs. The knight in polished white and timber floored armour. A Burley Katon Halliday lover’s paradise. Waves crash on the poolside edge below as you sip away at your French or Tiffany’s priced cocktail. Fine dining is never my first eat choice. I’m much happier sharing food at a signature bistro such as Glebe Point Diner – but the thing is, there’s no view and no ocean. It’s not my job to tell you the food isn’t good… it’s top notch. I’ve dined next to Mick Jagger a few years back and that’s exactly why you dine at Icebergs. A top price tag for a truly iconic destination experience. At $84 for a chicken roast for 2 you’d want it to be.

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Star-filled skies

Still a few dollars left in the parking meter? Book a seat at this year’s Flickerfest running from the 7−16th January, showcasing both Australian and global short films screening outdoors close to the beach.

You could head to a backstreet wine bar such as The Corner House for a few cheeky nightcaps, or keep wallet in pocket and head to the star-skied beach. Enjoy the distant evening beat as waves splash against shore, perhaps spotting a travelling fire twirler, or nude swimmer streaking by.

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If you’ve made a full day of it you’re a better man than I. Now get home and jump online… slip me a comment, a better suggestion (is there such thing?) or a note of something I have criminally missed off the list.

Featured image.
Chorus girls in “Rhonrad” wheels roll across Bondi Beach, ca. 1935 / by Sam Hood. State LIbrary of NSW