Nobal Glomad

“Stick with what you know” – a saying I actively anti-mantra as often as possible. I can though say that I’ve solidly stuck with Darlinghurst and know my way around her well traversed block blindfolded. I’ve strolled, cycled, run, rollerbladed (cringe) and driven the streets at all hours of the day and night, in all sorts of states, age, attire and get about. There’s some 13 solid years of ‘local’ under my belt.

When I first relocated to the hood I’d regularly be dodging syringes on the pavement and helping junkies shift from blocking the entrance to my apartment. I’ve had timber poles through my windscreen, been chased by drunken Indigenous gangs for no apparent reason and narrowly missed a VB bottle flying smack bang for my noggin. Finally after all that… I only left because I was jetting off overseas for the long term.

The day here can start at any hour. It’s rarely quiet and mostly designed to be in your face. Just ask my friend Lucy Cornell about the back lane shenanigans from her Darlo dwelling days.

For this Sydney Series I’m keeping the focus contained to the fence line of Kings Cross’ Coke sign, Burton Street, Boundary Street and Taylor Square. Lacking any sort of direction? Check out the new addition of a Google map at the end of this article for comprehensive, perfectly placed markers of everything talked about.

Enough said. Ready set go…

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Pre-dawn

It’s not quite the Jack Nicolson/Helen Hunt magic as you early morning struggle your way home from Oxford street or Kings Court, the real estate industry’s newly named Kings Cross. You will though be drawn to the wafts of baking at never closed Infinity Bakery. Baking racks are row upon row stacked full of olive and onion cobs, supersized croissants and financier… mmmm… that cake is to die for with King Island cream and berries.

Or there’s the more realistic extra fat fried Olympic Yeeros. These guys are an institution. I could fill my bath with the bacon and egg rolls consumed here… mmmm bacon and egg roll bath. They skilfully smash the eggs n’ bacon, paint sesame rolls with glistening butter and drown the whole carb/salt/fat fix in tomato sauce, salt n’ pepper. A 4am feast fit for a pre-hangover all for $5. Beat that Wagu wankers!

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The Pre-eat

Whilst in the thick of your New Year’s must do list, I’ll re-instate my defunct Fitness First membership for a moment to say haul your post-festive butt out of the snooze sack, lace up the pumps and lycra and sweat out a 6am body attack or spin class. It’s quintessential inner East-ing to have the body of Arnold and the voice of captain campy pants. The best thing is you only need trial this madness once, thanks to their try before you forever direct debit buy policy.

Screw that? Instead head to Bikram Yoga on Crown for their 10 days for $17 intro sweat it deal. The room sized convection oven bastes and bakes your core through the to-the-book asanas day in and day out. It’s super cults-ville and you’ll be sure to get the newbie evil eyes from the die hards but stick it out – you’ll be on the plane to India in no time.

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Brekkie/Brunch or Lunch

We are all au fait with the household name as well as the face behind it’s iconic success. A large contingent of my ex-hospitality crowd mates have front of housed here (even slipping me the occasional steak sandwich compliments of the house)… it’s Bills.

The first located in Liverpool Street, like so many eateries that choose to expand, is still the quintessential Bills best. After a mistaken interior make-over a few years back, the original and infamous big table for shared dining has returned, encouraging boxed in Sydney-ites to perhaps say hello to someone outside their well protected inner circle. You don’t need to hear it from me but the eggs are an annual pilgrimage, and the coconut bread is Bourke Street Baker worthy. The menu doesn’t change. It doesn’t need to. Thanks Bill Granger for keeping it consistent.

Just up the hill is my favourite morning drop-in, the New Zealand laddish run The Bunker. Their success has by no means been instant. To win over our coffee Nazi’d culture as a new kid on the block destination takes time. Today the junkies (mostly caffeine) flock to the chilled out street spillage, as do I as their tea menu is a worthy black tar replacement. There’s authentic Chai served in a traditional Chinese barbell weighted teapot. Everything is served on a mish mash of cracked plates, including boiled eggs and vegimite soldiers -  my a.m. happy place.

The memories of 11am being an early start to my Saturday are now long gone. Back in the early 2000s I’d scramble about to throw on some less than coordinated fashion at 10.55am to meet the crew at Bar Coluzzi for weak lattes and ham cheese tomato open turkish toasties. I heard they’ve recently changed hands from a disgruntled friend. Times change. Let me know if it’s still your local de jour and if the milk crates continue to keep your morning back in check. A true local on the Darlo-hurst walkabout.

Tropicana Caffe. A lettuce loaded chicken salad, the world’s worst lasagne and that awful Italian soda bread… the dis-degustationed menu and ‘ok’ coffee keeps the players flocking to this large crowd pleasing cafe. In true wog style the TV is always turned to sport and the crowd demographic is all over the shop. Tropicana refuses to be cool. You could plonk it in the middle of a suburbia and it would work perfectly… there’s  no pretension here.

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Arvo Afters

I’m already over my weekly word-count but onwards I write. Darlinghurst is a world apart from Darling Harbour’s turnstile Imax/Aquarium frenzy or the buzz of Bondi Beachlife, but there’s a few non-eat favourites worth mentioning. If you’re desperate for some no expense fun hang out in Green Park for a few hours to watch the madness of the local street life… dogs in arms, parrots on shoulders… babies in addidas.

Alfie’s Friend Rolfe hit’s 10 years old in 2011 (Party invite please). Walking in the door is like stepping into Josh’s Carrie Bradshaw wardrobe with 2 well-versed stylists on hand. The pokey store front doesn’t do them any merchandising favours, but the collections are styling, well priced and keen-eye curated for casual, formal, or I can still pull off Gen-Y looks. Oh and they stock for guys and girls. Le Specs sunnies are only $60 and hold their own against the upstarters of the world. They also stock the smartest stitched, longest lasting, most comfortable and complimented butt-hugging Edwin jeans.

Ken Neale’s Twentieth Century Modern mashes up iconic glass pieces, solid timber sideboards, side tables, sofas, Featherstons, 1 tonne ceramic lamps, burnt orange, lime green, chrome and smoked glass. He’s priced to meet the cashed up inner east but treat yourself to a stand apart waiting to be loved collectable… step away from the Ikea catalogue’d living room.

I met my masseuse aka Magic Hands Vicky at Zen Day Spa. They’re stuck with a dated Bank Gothic purple identity, but the quality of hands on is purr-able. The rooms are sultry and peaceful, a world away from busy Darlo Road.

Second lastly, grab an urban aware hair cut from the Grand Royal Barbers. Even better gents, treat yourself to their oldskool hot towelled shave. After travelling the India road and diving into 20c streetside shaves I highly recommend going for the cut-throat.

Resist the pre-movie cauliflower bake gorge if you dinner + movie it at Govindas next door to Zen. The cinema is one big bedroom filled with mattresses, pillows, cushions and a perfect flick snuggle up environment. Check their latest screenings on their website.

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Lunch and Dinner

It’s been a place of too many fully booked stroll by’s, a reputable easy stop for dinner with mates and more than a few blind dates. Fish Face = classic bistro style seafood dining. There’s fish and chips served in kitsch paper cones but the cooking cuts the newspaper mustard. I’ve good memories of fresh snapper with macadamias and snow peas, almost sashimi grade tuna steak with anchovies and eggs. I know, macadamias sounds a little too fusioned but it delivers on taste. I’d recommend a seat at the window counter. The service is old school ‘we’re Sydney busy’ but friendly. The downstairs bathroom is memories of a seedier Darlo past. A no brainer recommend.

Burger joints have been the flavour of the inner East for the last few years, but the no question captain consistently for me is Surry Street’s Burgerman. As a graphic artist their branding has always floated my design boat. The menu rarely changes. The burgers are solid staples of mostly girl-team served up love featuring cheese n’ gherkin, beetroot and horseradish and a chicken combos. The fries are unbeatable… thin slices of thin n’ crisp carb-load just waiting to be drowned in Big Red. My only gripe which granted was beyond their control? The death of Dinner Ale. Resch’s… you’ve let a large slab of the older Aussie Digger contingent down.

Continue back along Victoria St to find Coeliac friendly Fu Man Chu. I could eat here 5 nights a week. ‘Rice everything’ dining with steamed gow gee dumplings, duck wraps (quack!), chilli salt cuttlefish and the moistest favouritest hainan chicken rice… ahh memories of hawker hainan dining in Singapore come flooding back. On an interior note, the wall-sized bamboo mural is a perfect visual Crouching Tiger accompaniment.

Stroll a few minutes away from the Victoria Street beat to Miss Chu, the queen of rice paper rolls. Constantly in battle with our non-accommodating Sydney council, the street-lining banana trees are alas no more. There’s still old school desks and Ici et la referenced canvas stools to casual lunch or dinner dine on. She also home delivers on custom electric bikes. My favourites would have to be the Shanghai dumplings, prawn and scallop dumplings, shitaki mushroom noodle salad and those banana leaf coconut jelly things. She opened down at the Opera House in 2010 which is spot on for a pre-show street food snack (and a nice change to a made yesterday prawn cocktail), but the hero is definitely Bourke Street.

Back across the road from Bills is Ondé on Liverpool. The on-the-floor staff here take the best service in town cake. On my last bistro visit the duck live paté + cornichon (which is really… really good) took perhaps 10 minutes too long to arrive. Before disgruntle had a second to kick in, two glasses of pinot + pate arrived on the house. That rocks. A great ‘not too noisy’ for a second date or mid-week. These guys have been on the map since 1996 and have a loyal local following. Grab a seat along the banquette if you can for comfort and crowd watching.

My ‘yet to dine’ for this week is Taste Vin Bistro & Wine Bar – the former Will & Toby’s den is a just right sized room serving up lunch and dinner classic bistro experience. Hello Confit Duck and Niçoise Salad. They get a great wrap online. Let me know if you’ve Bistro’d here.

At this point I realise how well stomped this hood of the city is for Josh. I’m stopping here to ensure my knowledge of the area apparently matches the rest of the Sydney Summer Series. A few more last mentions. Jimmi Liks. Ok it’s just out of Darlinghurst. Go for their no-longer listed Duck Egg Custard and Glen 20 tasting martini (what was that all about?). Le Petit Creme on Darlinghurst Road for their classic french omelette and some serious street noise. Then there’s…

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Post Dining

Side note. My cat keeps trying to add her two cents worth to the article with QWERTY purrs and rubs so forgive me if the content focus goes slightly askew.

I remember returning home in the 90s after Green Park Hotel‘ing it, leave my cigarette infused outfit outside the backdoor before preparing for the next day’s hangover. It’s a Darlinghurst Icon slowly being consumed by the monolithic St. Vincents’ architecture, but it’s in for the longhaul. The bar’s basic as are the vodka tonics but the crowd has a staple mix of gay, straight, tart, doctor and nurse coming through the doors from 10am every day. The current owners haven’t exactly done a refined job of the bar’s renovations but it’s not about the decor, it’s beers, pool and local buzz.

Don’t turn the lights up to bright… welcome to  The Victoria Rooms. The space is a reformed car garage turned bar with reproduction antiques a splatter, screen dividers, Aesop hand-soap (tick) and dining room. Personally I stick to the bar. The drinks are priced to hurt but the mixmasters know their game slamming any martini or a killer Longrain matching mohito your way. There’s the smoking ‘Tiki’ cocktail I’m yet to try. Any takers?

Omertà downstairs is more design worthy and a perfect pre-dinner vino destination. Formally Pelagio deli, the current owners emptied the shelves to a bare concrete cell before introducing big slabs of marble and sandstone with sultry downlighting. The result is a sexy ambience filled with good flavours and, like Bills Mafioso style communal dining close enough to sample your neighbour’s dolci.

My most recent discovery was Gourmet Traveller’s Bar of the year Eau de Vie out the back of the Kirkton. As you enter cover your eyes to avoid an interior filled with garish reproduction Rococo furniture (whatever happened to Salt?) and continue through to the glass doors. The lounge of Eau de Vie is a carpentry masterpiece. Small illuminated cases filled with V&A-esque exotic bottle collections. These guys take the art of  barman beyond just another distill and shake.

I once ordered a round of twistified martinis. A few minutes later there was a Wizard of Oz puff of super frozen smoke. A tray of glasses, zests and ice mummified test tubes was heading our way. We were told on approach that “The alcohol is taken to −196˚C, then kept in a test-tube so the whole drink experience remains authentic to your palette”. Enough said. Royal Doulton tumblers aside you’d be a numbnut to miss this boozy masterpiece.

Tea-totalling for January? Treat yourself to a to-die-for piled high Yoghurt and Caramel cone at Gelati Messina. There’s a few thousand flavours (a mild but selling-you-in exaggeration) to choose from. Boon Chocolates, a little further down Victoria Street shoots up late night chocolate origin shots. Their focus is on layering ingredients to produce unique moments flavour. Nothing like a bit of chocolate science as an excuse to indulge.

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That’s it! I’m all Darlinghurst typed out. This isn’t exactly a day’s itinerary. There’s a few dozen meals here alone. Book yourself a table, take an afternoon stroll, pull up a cafe crate and enjoy the ghetto buzz.

If you’ve enjoyed the read it would be great to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on something you’ve loved, something I’ve missed, or forward it on.

Enjoy. Live. Love

Darlinghurst Map

Bar Coluzzi
322 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9380 5420

Bikram Yoga on Crown
1/256 Crown Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9356 4999 ‎
www.bikramyoga.net.au

Bills
433 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9360 9631 ‎
www.bills.com.au

Boon Chocolates
251 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9356 8876
www.boonchocolates.com.au‎

The Bunker
399 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst
T. 0404 407 349

Burgerman
116 Surrey Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9361 0268
www.burgerman.com.au

Eau de Vie
229 Darlinghurst Rd, Darlinghurst
T.02 9357 2470
www.eaudevie.com.au

Fish Face
132 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9332 4803 ‎

Fu Man Chu
249 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9360 9424
www.fumanchu.com.au‎

Gelati Messina
241 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 8354 1223
www.gelatomessina.com.au‎

Grand Royal Barbers
397 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst
T. 9360 3063
www.grandroyalbarbers.com.au‎

The Green Park
360 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9380 5311
www.greenparkhotel.com.au‎

Govindas
112 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9380 5155
www.govindas.com.au‎

Infinity Sourdough Bakery
225 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9380 4320 ‎

Jimmi Liks
186-188 Victoria Street, Potts Point
T. 02 8354 1400
www.jimmyliks.com‎

Miss Chu
1/150 Bourke Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 8356 9988
www.misschu.com.au‎

Ondé
346 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9331 8749
www.onderestaurant.com‎

Olympic Yeeros
116 Oxford Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9331 6530

Omertà
235 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9360 1011
www.omerta.com.au

Le Petit Creme
118 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9361 4738

Taste Vin Bistro & Wine Bar
Level 1 292 – 294 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9356 3429
www.tastevin.com.au‎

Tropicana Caffe
227B Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9360 9809 ‎
www.tropicanacaffe.com

Twentieth Century Modern
3/138 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst
T. 0410 463 121

The Victoria Rooms
235 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9357 4488
www.thevictoriaroom.com‎

Zen Day Spa
116/118 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst
T. 02 9361 4200
www.zendayspa.com.au‎