Nobal Glomad

For years a rather talented photographer comrade of mine willfully ball and chain’d his creative integrity whilst at work in London. He assisted ‘I rock’ point n’ shoot pros across Europe on fat budget’d locations, lugging stupidly expensive digital camera everything from Mediterranean beach to Swiss Chalet, driven by a sliver of hope that one day his portfolio would finally cut enough mustard to score a serious behind the lens gig. Two years ago, after a quintessential brochure worthy 2 week sojourn in blue-skied ‘what the #@$% are we doing living in London’ Sydney, he and his partner decided to hang up the gloves. The tart and glamour of UK had decisively tarnished.

Finally, after eight years of geezer-fied living he returned with husband by his window seated side to Sydders early in 2010. Now when do you suppose the London publishing industry decided his photographic eye had finally come of age… he’d sufficiently slaved the sewers, scrubbed the floors and cocooned his talent long enough to blossom as their boy de jour? Just a few months after purchasing their inner city Sydney pad.

His last 12 months have entailed a scattered few weeks home, 3 weeks in London, 2 in Africa, perhaps a week in France, a returned week chez Woollahra, then back in the once more for another round of off-shore zone adjustment. He’s landed on the street… the man is certainly trés in demand. He now scores the smartest suite in the rather desirable artsy fartsy boutique abodes. Everyone on-set panders to his multi-lens’d needs. Sounds like ‘the life’. But is it fun? Is he really enjoying the constant shuffle? In a word… No.

The constant time zone shifts are killing him. It takes a good 7 to 14 days to properly de-shock your brain and adjust to a new sleeping pattern. The money’s far from shabby. The work A-List worthy. But the constant upheaval is pushing him to seriously consider returning to the other side of the globe. That means packing up two lives, quarantining the pups, renting out a pad, return shipping the lot… doing it all again in reverse.

It’s all comes down to jet lag.

(Note. After sharing dinner last night with my above introduced friend I can update this scenario… he’s decided to move back to London. By no means a light decision, so congratulations for having the guts to kick comfortable in the knackers mate. Now go forth and conquer those Brit fashion wankers)

If you’ve crossed multiple time zones, particularly if it’s for business over pleasure, then you’ll appreciate there’s nothing worse than the slam-dunk’d on-set of jetlag. It as if someone has pumped your brain full of quick-set concrete, sucked dry your coherent conversational abilities and given your sense of logic a humungous wedgie. I remember arriving in London last year and sharing an early dinner with some friends… the equivalent of 7am Sydney time. The slow roasted lamb shoulder, although one of my favourite foodgasms, arrived at the table resembling the perfect duck feather pillow. I was completely pan-fried and quickly dragged my slobbery self to bed.

My father flew for Qantas for many many years, mostly operating 747 Jumbo’s on trans-Atlantic long hauls. Think ‘in the thick of it’ destinations like Bombay and Bahrain’s heady bazaars of the 70s… when flying was mapped and plotted and analogue instrument dependent. Engineers were an integral part of the crew. Dad would tell stories of taxiing towards Bombay’s international terminal, past clusters of Indians huddled around runway lights for afterdark illumination. Electricity was still luxury status. He spent around 50% of the year away from home living in hotels, struggling through plasticised crew meals enduring constantly changing seasons and clothing. Mum was home solo to nurse and feed three boys. For him, one minute it was white Christmas, the next a snag on the Barbie and crèche central… a career-fed bi-polar existence. I remember him being there, but his ability to slip back into ‘as you were’ normality I truly admire.

Flying is certainly more confortable today than it was 20 years ago. Seats now recline to massaging intelligent fabric flat beds, there’s multi-mood ambient lighting, movie-packed interactive flat screens, in-flight wi-fi and telecommunications, and Peter Morrissey pyjamas (which people actually sell on eBay…eugh). On the flipside, airports are now security controlled penitentiaries, in-flight service is plastic and de-personalised, and there’s no more ‘Would Jimmy like to come up and say hi to the Captain?’

The biggest problem is it’s still 17,000kms of sky-time from Sydney to London. Until such time as we experience supersonic travel, the time required to travel these distances will remain pretty much the same.

Jet lag is, in tech talk a hiccup in our body’s circadian rhythm. This rhythm is roughly a 24hr cycle for biochemical, physiological and behavioural processes (Thanks Wikipedia). They occur throughout nature and in all living beings that hop, skip and jump the planet. They are primarily adjusted by our environment, the driving force being the sun. When we throw our circadian rhythm out of whack our bodies can be extremely stubborn, resist change with physical symptoms of extreme lethargy, headaches, loss of appetite… lovely stuff.

Right. So what can you do to reduce the body crash of jet lag? There’s certainly no miracle essence of rose-hip lip balm natural cure, but here’s a few suggestions I found:

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How to minimise Jet lag-itis

1. Melatonin

Melatonin plays a principle role in kicking our butts out of bed and tucking us in at night. It keeps the body clock in sync and it’s reactive to light… the more rays we’re exposed to, the more melatonin produced. Crossing time zones disrupts our melatonin’s learned cycle causing jet lag. You can pop a pill to fast track the new zone’d adjustment, or instead pull up a banana lounge and laze by the pool for some of nature’s rays.

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2. Software

Yes this apparent ‘expert system’ uses the technology of Einstein to calculate the optimal time program to ward off the evils of sleepy time. Only $35 and satisfaction is guaranteed.

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3. Glowing Glasses

Thanks to a group of nutball Aussie scientists at Flinders University you will soon be able to purchase LED Glasses that apparently re-calibrate your body clocks. Perfect for both long haul, Lady Gaga and the occasional all-nighter.

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4. Homeopathics

The website calls it ‘surprisingly effective’. What’s in No-Jet-Jag® I have no idea. Each packet covers you for 50 hours of flying time.

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5. H2o (Josh’s pick)

“Water is the essence of moisture… moisture is the essence of life” quoting Zoolander. It’s the most obvious, and cheapest option and kind of makes sense since around 75% of our body is made up of water. Sitting at 30,000ft with 0% humidity your body’s crying out for a top-up. Say no to coffee and Dom (ok… have one glass of Dom) and say yes to bottles of bland. It stops your blood thickening and reduces the chance of Deep Vein Thrombosis, which can be a tad life shortening.

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Things to avoid

Booze, frappuchinos and downers aka sleeping pills. They all contribute to slowing down the body’s adjusting process, dehydrate your internals and too many Cardonnays (definitely no h) could lead to humiliating restraint by the cabin crew.

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Travel for work? Clocked up the hard yard’d air-miles in your corporate climbing past? How do you rate the lifestyle and any thoughts on how to handle the inevitable adjustment? Share with us tales of your globe hopping escapades de fabulousness.

Enjoy. Live. Love.